


eurydice

by venndaai



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, where does this fit into the timeline? how did they get talia back? we just don't know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7957921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venndaai/pseuds/venndaai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Talia and Ivanova alone in a small dark room, talking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	eurydice

Talia sat still on the bed, mouth pressed into a hard pale line. Her face looked dead. Ivanova stood up, and moved towards the door.

_Susan._

It was still jarring and uncomfortable, almost painful but not quite, to be called to, to be touched in that safe secret space that had belonged only to her and to Mother. But Lyta had said, It might help her; so Ivanova forced down her shudders, stopped in her tracks, and turned.

“I understand,” Ivanova said. “If you hate us. We deserve it. We abandoned you.”

“You-” The word stopped, choked off. The mouth twisted. Talia's hair still fell in the same familiar perfect platinum wave; the station lights still glimmered reflected from her immaculate cosmetics. Ivanova imagined her applying sprays and powders in a mirror, avoiding her own eyes, hands working without higher instruction. Talia's jaw worked, and eventually she said, “You're the only thing in my life that hasn't abandoned me.”

“I thought you were dead,” Ivanova said. Hands fisting the edging on her uniform. “If I'd known you weren't- if I'd thought there was the slightest chance-” She stopped. “Sorry,” she said. “I'm making excuses. Bad habit.”

“I love you,” Talia said.

Ivanova felt her eyes widen, her jaw go slack. Talia's hands flew up to her mouth. “I don't know why I said that,” she said. “I don't know why I'm saying or doing anything. I'm sorry.”

Ivanova folded her arms around her chest. Hugging herself. Protecting vital organs from harm. “It's fine,” she said. “It's fine. You don't- love me.”

Talia's white fingers dragged across the bedspread, nails leaving pale lines in the fabric. “How do you know,” she asked, calmly.  
  
“It told you you did.” Awkward gesture to the head. “The- the thing. The- her. That they put in your mind?” Ivanova shook her head. “They needed you to get close to me, find out what I knew about the Corps. They told you to- get close to me.” She nodded, twice, trying to seem confident despite the lump in her throat. “It's fine.”

Talia's hand stilled. Not looking at Ivanova, she said, “I was attracted to you the moment I first saw you. You're telling me that was fake?”

Ivanova blinked. “In CnC?” she asked. Talia nodded. “When I basically told you to go fuck yourself?” Talia went a bit red, but nodded again. “...Good lord,” Ivanova said. She couldn't think of any other response.

“I'm sorry,” Talia said, and then she laughed, small and miserable, but the sound still sent a wave of emotions rolling through Ivanova.

“Don't be,” said Ivanova. “I'm flattered. Really. Just a little surprised.”

“I'm so tired,” Talia said. “Nothing feels real. Nothing in my life has ever been real.” She looked at Ivanova sidelong. “Until I came here. Until you. But you're saying that might have just been the Corps screwing with me some more?” Her hands left the bedspread to pull at her perfect hair. “You seem like my type,” she said. “I think. Oh God. Why is everything like this?”

Ivanova took a deep breath. “I know the feeling,” she said, hearing her voice go high on the last word. Stupid, stupid. “After you left everything just went wrong, and it's just been getting worse. Getting you back's about the only good thing to happen lately.”

“Is it? Good?”

“Yes,” Ivanova said, “of course it is.”

“I'm sorry,” Talia said, “it's just that, my reappearance seems to be causing you considerable emotional distress.”

Ivanova said, “Ha,” somewhere between a laugh and a scream. Talia looked somewhat alarmed, so Ivanova hurried to tell her, “Don't worry about that. Pretty much everything distresses me these days.”

“I know that feeling, too,” Talia said, and tilted her jaw a little, turning her face towards Ivanova's, and a small smile curved her mouth. Ivanova felt herself smiling back.

“I don't remember much,” Talia said, “of those last days before I- before she took control. Did we-?”

Ivanova swallowed. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, we slept together.” So oddly easy to say, now. There was more she could say. That she'd never been with a woman before that night, and afterwards she'd wondered why, when it felt so right, so much better and happier than everyone she'd made herself sleep with before. It had felt like the start of something new and good, and then Lyta and and the Psi Corps had turned it into something horrifyingly wrong. But she couldn't say any of that.

Talia looked at her with a strange glimmer in her gray eyes, and for a moment Ivanova felt a chill work its way down her spine, for a moment she wondered if Kosh had really been right when he'd said that the person they had now was Talia Winters and Talia Winters alone.

Then the moment passed.

“I have to get back to work,” Ivanova said. “I'll be back when my shift's over. We could- we could go get drinks, I guess.” Like that would help anything.

_Susan!_

She turned back. Talia was crying, makeup smeared around her large, wide eyes. “Please don't leave me,” she said.

Ivanova hesitated. Then she sat down on the bed. A few inches from Talia. Not touching.

“Everyone's left me,” Talia said.

“I know,” said Ivanova. “Me too.” She put her hand down in the space in between them. “At least you came back.”

 _I did,_ Talia agreed, and Ivanova felt the touch of her fingers on the back of Ivanova's hand.

They were in the dark room again, but it had been warm and welcoming when Ivanova's mother had been alive, and cold and hostile when she'd had her mind invaded. Now it was cool and neutral. Calm.

 _Can we stay here?_ Talia asked. _Just for a little while. Just us._

_I don't want to be alone._

_I'm so tired of being alone._

_You're not,_ Ivanova said. She turned her hand palm up, curled her fingers around Talia's. _You're not._


End file.
